The Impact of Belonging
“So why do you stay? You preach job satisfaction and career happiness, but you keep subjecting yourself to toxic situations and bullies.” The truth in my sister’s words stung. I choked back tears, trying to collect my thoughts and form a confident answer quickly as she and her friend stared at me waiting for an answer.
“Because while I’ve met some of the most toxic and rotten people in tech, I’ve also met some of the most thoughtful, kind, and inspiring people that have opened my mind and taught me a ton about myself. Because I love the opportunities and solutions tech can provide to help improve communities and lives. I love the creativity and how it hurts my brain sometimes. Why should I leave, and give up just because of a few nasty people?”
That’s a strong response, I thought. And it was honest, but I don’t think I fully believed it enough to convince myself to stay… or believed the pain was worth the benefit... or that I belonged.
The truth is, when I left my job in 2017, I was burnt out. I felt beat up. I lost all confidence in my ability, my skill set, and the role I could, and did, play for people and companies. I was convinced I would never find my place in tech, and frankly, I didn’t know if I wanted to, no matter how much I loved it.
Somehow, I kept getting pulled back in.
There were a few key people that kept tugging at my attention, re-engaging me at the intersection of tech and human solutions. The reality is, I love the way tech stretches my brain to think differently. I love the opportunities and sustainability tech can provide for people that maybe didn’t have that before. I love helping people whose minds cross between science and art learn how to work together to solve crucial problems to change people’s lives. I love helping people enter an industry of opportunity, while also helping them find their space of belonging.
But I almost left it all because I didn’t feel like I belonged. The career I loved and worked so hard for, I was so willing to give up in order to find a community I could exist in and feel accepted, embraced, and appreciated. Here’s where it changed for me: it was in those acts of acceptance shown by a few key folks that pulled me into their community; it was in the moments where I saw that spark in someone’s eyes in the high of connection and creative collaboration; it was in the “ah-ha!” moments, as breakthroughs were made because so many different minds were brought together and heard; it was in the moments where people got to be their creative selves and show up fully to achieve something together. It was in those moments that I was continually reminded not only that I belong, but also why I fight so hard for other people to.
A feeling of belonging and community is everything. Without it, we lose so much opportunity, brain power, and creative solutions.